People In Transit or the Floor Above the Unemployment Stint and Below Permanent Job Status

People In Transit or "The Floor Above the Unemployment Stint" and Below "Permanent Job Status" is what this blog post is called.

After a grueling nano-year (which was ALMOST a year, but NOT quite) of being Unemployed in America, strapped slimily in the swarthy-in-grimy-decaying-pseudo-corpse-of-a-career, I grabbed the remains of my career (bloody carcass hanging off brittle bones, flailing away at the Vultures) and resurrected it Just In Time, fleeing to the Employment line at: Temps-R-Us.

Which is not always the nicest place to be, but MUCHO BETTER than the Sweaty, Uninvincible Unemployment Line.

So now I am a Temp.

No longer Unemployed.

Which is good because my Unemployment income (having twice been extended) had definitely run out. No more extensions. (Which is as cruel as getting short-sheeted at summer band camp.)

And while I am THRILLED TO PIECES TO BE WORKING AND BACK TO BEING SANE AGAIN AND FEELING VERY LUCKY AND VERY GRATEFUL TO HAVE A WONDERFUL FAMILY AND FRIENDS AS A SUPPORT SYSTEM THAT HELPED ME A LOT I DO want to point out that being a Temp is not always good.

You are neither here nor there.

You are a Person In Transit.

A PIT. And it can be the pits. The depths of despair.

The Bargain Basement of Leftover of the Used and Abused.

You have No Control over whether they will hire you or not.

And the Treatment of a Temp by Office People is very like the Treatment of a Humpbacked Igor by a Mad & Evil Scientist in an old black and white 20's film on the Big Screen back in The Day.

You can deal with people at the office who will be very very nice to you and spill their guts until you realize that you have initially become their therapist! Ugh! Who want's that?

It can be detrimental to your emotional energy and very draining to have whiny-ass friends at work.

Or that you have become (even worse! GASP!) their friend and they keep inviting you to Jewelry Parties (which are normally sponsored by some corporate company and thus are usually lame unless your "new best friend at work" is actually crafty and make their own which is very rare but my friend at IBM was like this so cool friends who are talented do exist) or Pampered Chef Parties (where you have to buy their crap or else you feel rude if you don't) or Birthday Parties with Fattening and Frosty-Girthed Birthday Cake (sometimes where everyone pitches in some money and this can pile up quickly!) or Happy Hours until you realize that if you want to be their friend you will have to be very rich to keep up because work IS their social life and you already have a social life. Or a life. This is the person at work who needs to get a life because they have made work their life. So you have to refrain from being their friend because you cannot keep up with their office political/social stratosphere so you either tell them you cannot afford all these extracurricular office party/events/social hour or make up some dumb lamo excuse like you have to pet sit for money or babysit or have a part time job or something to showcase how poor you are. Who knows. You normally have to white lie to get out of it.

It can be - ahem - rather expensive having these types of friends at work.

So you can suffer if you are a nice person. You have to not be too friendly to people at work. Know your limits.

And then there's the other side of the coin. The meanies at work.

You can deal with people at the office who will be very very mean to you for a variety of reasons. Maybe you are not hoopy-religious enough and the first thing they ask you is if you are conservative and whether you go to church or not. In fact, the first thing they might ask you, like Griselda Grunchthorpe did once:

"Where's your Home Church, sweetie?"

In which case I answer:

"I only went to church to pick up guys," with an inward sneer seething, but a polite-yet-snarky remark.

In which case, she'll gossip about you the rest of your stay at said office. Etc etc etc and it will be hell. Because all the other hoooopeee-religious assholes at work will give you a hard time. They might start putting syrupy Pepto-Dismal pink nightmare pamphlets about Jesus Christ being your Saviour, etc etc on your desk during their spare time.

In which case you can retaliate by putting Devil Worshipping and/or Black-as-Night Voodoo Doll paraphenalia on THEIR desks (of course I have NEVER done SUCH a thing, but I HAVE been tempted!) and where you can get it I have no idea. That would be another blog.

It's not that I don't like Hoopee-Religious people. I have to say that some of them are my very dearest friends and family members. I just think that work is not the place to shove crap down my throat, I'm already unindated with boring-ass work, thank you very much! I just don't like other people's stupid personal choices slammed onto me and I don't like being judged by having better personal choices than their's. Perhaps they're jealous that I get to sleep til noon on Sunday (with lines on my face if I want!) AND: It's also none of anybody's fucking business what I do with my free time when I'm not at work! If I want to sacrifice small children at the Pitchfork-Darkest-Midnight Moon on Halloween then that's MY BUSINESS.

So there are plenty of bad things about being a temp. Namely, being treated pretty shabbily. Like you are not a real person.

So my latest nightmare, after a year of:

1. trying to start a bookkeeping company (THAT doesn't work if spoiled princesslike selfish clients do NOT want to pay your rate)

2. trying to get free coffee through friends meeting friends and friends of friends at coffee shops for a year - one does not and cannot live on coffee alone, otherwise you - JUTTING - cannot - CRUNCHING - holda - SHAKING - conversation - CAFFEEEEEN/caffeine enrichment

3. trying to do this blog for a while until I realized nobody was really reading it except the few friends and family members I begged/pleaded/bludgeoned/conned into reading it, so I stopped (but I'm BACK, BABY!)

etc etc etc

So like I said my latest nightmare is Dealing with the Office Bully at Work.

She is basically what I like to call one of many types of accountants that can drive one crazy.

I like to call these types of accountants BAWCKERS. That was it. Boring Anal Wanderlust Cutthroat Klutzy Egotistical Retreads.

When I say boring I mean sludge-vomit vixen-bred snore-bore boring!

And when I say Anal I mean nose-stuck-up in the air cornucopia-stuck-up-the-butt along with a broomstuck-stuffed-up-the-ass Anal.

That’s it.

I could go on and on but I have been living this nightmare for a while now and the temp job before this one that began June 14 and lasted for six weeks was one in which I had to deal with another kind of accountant asshole: a control freak.

All I can say now is that after doing accounting for almost 20 years, I have finally figured out to Stand Up for Myself. Because, really, nobody's gonna do it for you. You have to do it for yourself.

And there are a lot of nasty-ass accountants out there. The Control Freak? She is Egotistical, Cutthroat, and Anal.

The Office Bully I've been dealing with this past week horribly and a few weeks before? She is threatened by me, scared I'll take her job, Anal, Cutthroat, Control Freaky, Boring, etc.

I could think of more acronymns for Evil Accountants, but I'm not going to right now.

I just wanted to say that I'm BACK! Back to blogging. I recently took a blogging for money class and I feel like I can do this better now.

Maybe then someday soon - hopefully - I can figure out how to make a living writing online so that I don't have to be an accountant any longer.

Hurrah!