I am beguiled by your green-eyed goddess beauty, Wilder says.
I nearly faint.
My stomping and galluping heart pierces my throat. Such a rough rider my heart is!
Wilder suddenly swings over to me, madcap-galore, crushes me into his hearty arms, swoops down for a kiss...
NO WAIT!
This isn't REALLY what's happening...that's just my fantasy, my thing to imagine. It's what I do. It's my shtick, my terwilliger-susswilliger, my universe of whaddya-want, my nonsensical faux pas; I am privy to FUN FANTASTICAL EXPLOSIONS of starbursts of wily wild wonder and grandeur in my mind's eye, in my brain! Vivid taddywonkers of joy! Vast vehemently fireworks of images, effervescent and delightful!
ACTUALLY now my boss, Grigbee Ritches, is on his way over to my cubicle, just as Wilder slides over CLOSER TO ME to watch me finish opening the envelope...
Well, Ms. Yates, how are we this morning? Grigbee's voice booms as he greets me and shakes Wilder's hand. Wilder, good to see you after all these months. I look forward to the Grand Master presentation ceremony later this afternoon. Do we have a winner yet?
I nod my hello at Grigbee. Still unable to speak. Wilder remains by my side. The envelope is ripped open. Waiting for me to pull out its contents...
Aha! Grigbee says to me. You must be the win...
CRASH!
Loud plunkerings interupt and I swivel in my seat to see five large Mastodian-like Gnarly Hairy Green Gushy-pussball-looking Aliens burst into the bank! Now there's six, now seven, now eight...they are multiplying!
BOOM!
Oh yeah, did I happen to mention that I work at a bank? The Frontier Wilderness State Grandville Largehouse Bank.
People suddenly stream everywhere. It's a madhouse! Calamity and chaos!
Grigbee motions to Wilder in sign language, for what I recall as a vernacular warning to Sound the Alarm! Everyone at once seems to be moving.
But. One of the Vulturistic-Green Gross Aliens shouts:
"Nobody move! Or I'll shoot!"
I duck down, but Wilder pulls me up and swoops me out of there quickly into his glass-encased corner office. It's a psychedelic office with mad ravaging greens and fiery oranges and cyclone yellows and ravenous reds; it's also an out-of-the-way place from the full frontal nude view of the starkness and vastness of our impressive bank lobby.
It might be a good place to hide! Wilder holds my hand, it's warm and my heart clanks and bangs rabid-fire rat-a-tat-tat against my ribcage!
People stop scurrying. Someone screams. I hear a shot erupt and echo scally-blunder blasting off into the vastness of the lobby, the sound pings up to crescendo into our starry-spangled skyscraper skyline. A scary sound!
I am afraid to look at whomever the victim is. I'm shaking. My heart's pounding again - bang bang bang - into infinity forever!
Wilder looks at me. His beautiful blue eyes dilate, with tiny-shiny black-dotted pupils. He whispers and points down on the ground:
Lie down flat.
So I do, scared-to-riveting pieces.
Then Wilder plunks down on the floor next to me, it happens so fast. He rolls toward his desk, grabbing my hand, rolling me with him, but we stop as the door to his office bounds open with a BANG! and a WONKY THUD!
I hear heavy breathing. And a deep growl.
Anyone in here? It roars.
Wilder freezes, he is so close to me, I feel his big massive body tense.
It doesn't see us...yet.
Wilder pulls me quickly under his hulking-big mahogany wood desk.
I'm breathing so heavily, panting with fear as this giant Green gritchy alien's black boots shuffle toward us like it knows where we are...it hears us, smells us probably, I can't believe that I will be possibly eaten alive any second now...
And then...ARGHGHGHGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! I yell as it grabs us, there are TWO of them, whatever they are....slimy giant gritchily-green fungus interuptus...!!!
FADE TO BLACKNESS.
***
STAY TUNED FOR A STATION BREAK IN WHICH I WILL RETURN AFTER THESE MESSAGES...
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