Creative Cussing

I have two sisters and I’m the MIDDLE sister. My younger sister had a baby and when the baby turned two the baby repeated EVERYTHING that we say, which is rather unfortunate, thus we have had to completely redirect one of our favorite things to do: our cussing.

My older sister who cusses a lot now has to do something that I like to call: Creative Cussing.

I actually rather like it.

Instead of “Mother Fuck Me Running,” which is something she says when she is driving, especially on a certain expressway in our universe,

She uses:

“Son of a Mother Monkey!”

If she just stubbed her toe, she adds “run” and “sucking” to the mix:

“Son of a Mother Monkey Run me Sucking!”

Instead of “Dick in the Butt,” which is what she says to stupid people doing stupid things, which is ubiquitous in our world of the universe, she yells:

“Corn Dog in the Buns!”

Instead of “I Feel Like Ass,” after a heavy night of partying with a morning-after hangover, she says:

“I Feel Like Mash!”

Etc.

None of the words are considered cussing but they actually really work. Just Try it. You might like it better.

Now go run and suck mash! Mash potatoes, that is. Happy Thanksgiving!