On the musings of Black Friday and Cyber Monday. Retail Therapy or Retail Hell? You decide.

Black Friday. Cyber Monday.

Have you often wondered who is coming up with all these nom de plumes?

I often do.

So could it be some Luminous Luminary, possibly named Linus Lapel Lomchamper III, mirrored in tempestuous tandem on Facebook and Twitter with his joint venture old-college-roommate-turned-business partner, the equally egregious Biosphere Bigwig, perhaps named Boyd Bragg Braxton, Jr., who makes blasphemous biochemicals in his biggie bonus time and who blitzes the market blissfully with his ideas, meanwhile blogging about it in the Blogosphere?

Or could it be a Cyberarmy of philanthropist and shopaholic Cyberdogs in space, with popular canine names such as Ginger, Rover, and Fido? On hold from their online loves of internet café and chat room addiction so that they can pursue some offline activities for once?

Or could it be conjoined triplets, with the moniker of Lala, Momo, & Neelie, the Olive Princesses? Who are indeed princesses of marketing ploys! Dubbed LMNOP, for short. And who choose all the best and most popular Mediterranean olives for their chintz-pink colored Girlina Girlie drinks?!

Or could it be their Quaalude-popping Raucous Sting-ray Twins, Urianne & Vivienna, who absolutely LOVE to shop, are Born and Bred to shop, and want EVERYONE to do the same? Labeled QRSTUV, for short.

I’m sure I could research this phenomenon, but it’s more FUN to guess instead! (Although I’ve never been that good at guessing games. I normally hobble at the helm of that dastardly diversion.)

Or could it be some Cyborgish Certified Cryobotic (a merge of Cryogenics + Robot) who is a Cyber-loving wartime effort ex-marine-turned-metallic War-Monger in distress because the wars are not as profitable to his business as he’d like? And quite likely he wanted to use his favorite word “Cyber” merged with “Monday,” one of the most feared days of the week, especially after returning from Thanksgiving Land.

Perhaps this is enough web wackiness to ponder for a while.

So if you are out among ‘em shopping for luxury items or bargains or gifts at boutiques or at the mall or at outlets and so forth, shuffling through the swill and snot of suburbia and/or the urky-ness of urbania in manic Monday mode, trying to maneuver the testy traffic, heartfully hopeful about the holidays, remember to relax, take a die-hard deep breath and try to have some fun. I wish you well.